Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Turtle Tattoo

Throughout the ages humans have bestowed turtles with special meaning. Ancient myths from different cultures describe the world as resting on the turtle’s back. Among Far Eastern cultures it was believed that the turtle’s back symbolized Heaven and that its underside represented Earth. For them the turtle signified the possibility of uniting Heaven and Earth within one’s own life.
Some cultures today still regard the turtle as a symbol of the primal mother and believe that it is connected to the lunar cycle. Others associate the turtle with longevity and wisdom. Incredibly, sea turtles have existed on earth longer than any other vertebrate animal — they were here when dinosaurs evolved and became extinct, and they survived the Ice Age.
The turtle has qualities that are congruent with the teachings and values of the Life Balance Institute. The turtle naturally withdraws and goes within when in turmoil. It does not need to learn the importance of this focusing inward, it naturally knows.
The turtle’s whole life is one of steadfastness, effort, and patience. It lives a slow and steady life of “non-doing.” There is a saying, “Home is where the heart is” — the turtle is always at home within itself.

This is why I will be getting a turtle tattoo as a reminder slow and steady wins the race =)

Bad Bitch

I do not care how positive black media is trying to make being a bitch. It has never and will never be acceptable for me personally. The way I look at it is some men are so consumed with having a "Bad Bitch" but they somehow are surprised when things go bad. You want a "Bad Bitch"  don't be surprised when she bites 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Apology of a young mother with love on her doorstep

I heard you lover saying all the things I dreamed of hearing saying all my tears turned in to a stream that formed a river for you to sail to me  thanking God for my tears cause they helped you see through infernos showing you that it's me you shouldn't let go.
 I hear you baby maybe it's my mind but I fear you baby not like a  monster but like a promise I can't keep to be honest it's just me
I can't help it I need all of me to give to my daughter and yes I'm selfish see I've tried fairy tales and they all failed.
Its difficult to think of intertwining our lives I'm the mother of someone else's child do you want that in a wife?  You should share your first with someone who deserves you someone who could serve you unconditionally someone whose going through there first too. 
See I've made my bed and I will lay in it take every chances I can to play in it. I apologize for being average I apologize but I will not allow you to carry my baggage.
I made these choices  and there's no other way I'll have it.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Butterfly Parenting

Focusing on the fact that a man and my self created a child that we can no longer raise together may be one of the most harmful things to do. It steals a certain power from you as an individual. I personally believe there is no such way to forsee how someone will behave as a parent you can know them for years, speak with them, watch them interact with other children but that's not the same as having your OWN CHILD. So the baby daddy/baby mama aspect comes in to play  (I am sorry if anyone finds this offensive but if those were the titles you aimed for you may need to sit down with yourself and find the disconnect in your heart that makes you feel like you aren't worth more) but the anger that tends to sprout from being seen as just someone who made a child with someone else can be over whelming. At times I believe this type of situation birthed the phrase "Nigga you aint shit" it becomes so hard to deal with when maybe one side is trying and the other is still so shook up about the demise of the relationship they cant fathom things being alright. Though its much worst when both side are engulfed in such anger every word is loaded with malice and hatred. Please don't get me wrong there are the few that part off of pure understanding that they no longer work together and its peaceful for the most part. What do you do if you"re not one of the lucky ones? Then What?
Your Child...see nothing can make you any less mom or dad to that child and at the end of the day who you are when you're alone with that child is what they often tend to remember they tend to hold on to it. See you can become a victim of baby mama/daddy syndrome if you feed all of you energy in to the anger or hatred or any lost emotions you maybe still harboring for your ex partner. Or you can simply be Mother/Father and love the new life you brought into the world and focus on that. See I look at it as relationships are like butterfly's  your lover can be your food your going to always need food to grow stay strong and live or your lover could have simply been your cocoon there to help you grow and get your wings and butterfly's never morn the lost of there cocoons it was just a phase in the journey. So maybe your lover was just a phase in your journey now you have your wings (your child) don't let anyone clip your wings 

Sunday, May 27, 2012

I told him he made me free in my purest form and he's my shelter through the ill-est storm...  BELIEVE THAT

Friday, May 25, 2012

Just me

None of it MATTERS as long as one day you wake up & LOVE WHO YOU'VE BECOME <3

Mistaken Friendship

Misplaced emotions lost in him while laying on the Ocean floor.
Door ways to hidden feelings, feeling close to hopeless.
Yes I love you no I dont want to  no I dont want to still I want you
Friendly flirting hiding jealousy mistaken friendship for more then...

Saturday, May 19, 2012


To stand in front of love
Wearing what I wore
When I...
When I... 
Entered this world
Speaking what I learned from this world
Oh the beauty of being naked and not ashamed

A Rose By Any Other Name...

Friday, May 18, 2012

Tears from a long time ago

I saw you yesterday where? i don't really know it was somewhere between my new and old home somewhere between broken and perfect but I saw you. As your eyes envy me  lovingly forcing me to revert to losing my self esteem instead of my selfishness i just watched your eyes go right through me making me wonder if you ever knew me?

Monday, May 7, 2012

I feel like I just be drifting in the water....

Scarcely Lovers

The sky and the ocean never get to touch but you can see the love ripples. As the moons light reflects off the water hopelessly in envy cause he’s so far up there and she can only project empty memories hoping one day she’ll soak him in. Space ships couldn’t help it and boats couldn’t sail him to her so far away but so close which makes it worst and they would be perfect if both worlds collide though that wouldn’t come with a promise that no one would die so they stay apart with heart that hold each other while stars linger around him and fish swim in her tides they remember they are scarcely lovers …