Sunday, April 29, 2012

Nice Things

It's not the wanting of nice things that bothers me who doesn't want nice things? Its the nice things being all that matter to a person that bothers me I am more of a lover of the simple things simple beauty mostly things man could not make.Living above your means or stressing your self out over things you cant afford is not my style or fantasizing or romanticizing objects makes me uncomfortable. I believe in striving for more and if you worked for it and you aren't putting your self in a position where you can't handle what needs to be taken care of by all means splurge. All im saying is if there's more important things to take care of handle it and then worry about the artificial aspects of life

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Leanna Zaire Harmony =)

My child =)

I've been mommy for almost 8 months time fly's


God told me angels have no Halos they don’t stand out 
They breath air deep breaths because they know what its like to have none left
God told me angel have no halos they don’t stand out 
They move slow in their anger speak kindly to strangers because they know what its like to be strange
(so I asked him about pain)
God told me angels have no halos they don’t stand out
They sometimes fake smiles but not to be fictional just to give a glimpses of hope that other wise you may never know
 (but what about pain?)
God told me angels have no halos they don’t stand out 
They think before opening their allowing God to reign proud and light to shine through 
(I need to know about pain) 
God told me angels have halos they don’t stand out 
they feel rain, wind, shame and left out so what is pain really? God told me angels don't feel pain they consume it they don't stay in palaces they go to the ruins to rebuild students of life 
God told me angels have no halos they don't stand out its the unseen that matters most but slightly cared about

Thin Line (Fact&Fiction)

Doors make reality seem a bit less real, except for realist who run from feelings because fact is feelings don't exist .There are just a working in your mind to freeze you temporally in time like photographs, but photographs won't stop the time that must pass like bodies decaying to fertilize the grass no one remembers but they embrace.See cause even in a puddle of water you can catch a glimpse of your face misplaced or misguided the past isn't for rewriting or hiding.Feelings from run who realist for except, real less bit a seem reality make doors...
Reality makes doors with imaginary keys and hearts make homes with imaginary lease so whats real? And children fight wars with imaginary beast so whose killed? Imagination trumped by fiction which turns to lies for infinite wisdom which no one holds so what's the difference?

Friday, April 27, 2012

Titles...The unwed Mother

Titles have been on my mind a lot lately maybe because as you get older who you want to be and who you are going to be aren't always the same thing. See I have always wanted to be wife & mother but who am I?  I am mother & lover I use the term lover simply to say that I still love the idea the concept that one day (most likely in the far off future) I to will find the illusive "HE". As of right now its me being mom which in many of the eyes if those on the outside looking in its me being "baby mama" I no longer care honestly because I know when this little girl looks at me she's not thinking "oh what a shame another unwed young mother" or "that's such and such baby mama". No she's thinking that's my mom or i need my diaper changed lol the idea of finding your "soulmate" being married having kids and living happily ever after is a beautiful one but it is not the only idea.Was it something I wanted sure it was I don't think anyone sets out to be baby mama but even if they do thats their happiness not anyone elses. I keep seeing we need more weddings the baby showers sure maybe we do but then again all you might be doing is raising the divorce rates.I just have a difficult time processing the judgement placed on the unwed parent so you're saying because we fell out of love before we got married and produced a kid we're horrible people? or we would be more respectable if we would have gotten married had a child and then fell out of love and got a divorce? oh I get it now...I'm not knocking marriage cause it's a beautiful thing but so it child barring even if it not the "convectional" way that's all I am saying because as sad as it sounds a baby doesn't mean the love is forever but honestly neither does marriage. 

One Way Train…

At 2am it began to rain so I packed my bags full of all my shame
They said there’s a new lease on life so I signed my name blurred
Eyes with enlarged veins yeah I packed my bags full of all my shame

Went to that station holding all my rage wrote down my fears then
Threw away the page got back that key to what was once my cage nose
Running wet remembering that phase so I left that station leaving all my rage

Got my ticket that read for the unseen misfits who never did shit closed my eyelids
So my ears could listen got the classifieds saw my soul was listed like I’d been enlisted
Not to make a difference just to be there vision looked up at the sky to plead for
Forgiveness for admittance for remembrance of who I am Who I could have been
Then the train stopped… 


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Sun's absence

Days with warm nights I wonder if the sun refuses to shine would the thunder  scare you baby? Don't be deceived lifes still as sweet as autum rain and God will always hold you I will never be to far im your permanent shoulder. If the sun refuses to shine dont let it steal your laughter remember the rain bow comes after...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

To be me...

There has been many choices placed at my feet some I knew I would kick right away other not so sure. There have been other choices I only chose to please the rebel in me. Although lately my choices have all been more like forced. I'm not use to being forced...