Monday, May 28, 2012

Butterfly Parenting

Focusing on the fact that a man and my self created a child that we can no longer raise together may be one of the most harmful things to do. It steals a certain power from you as an individual. I personally believe there is no such way to forsee how someone will behave as a parent you can know them for years, speak with them, watch them interact with other children but that's not the same as having your OWN CHILD. So the baby daddy/baby mama aspect comes in to play  (I am sorry if anyone finds this offensive but if those were the titles you aimed for you may need to sit down with yourself and find the disconnect in your heart that makes you feel like you aren't worth more) but the anger that tends to sprout from being seen as just someone who made a child with someone else can be over whelming. At times I believe this type of situation birthed the phrase "Nigga you aint shit" it becomes so hard to deal with when maybe one side is trying and the other is still so shook up about the demise of the relationship they cant fathom things being alright. Though its much worst when both side are engulfed in such anger every word is loaded with malice and hatred. Please don't get me wrong there are the few that part off of pure understanding that they no longer work together and its peaceful for the most part. What do you do if you"re not one of the lucky ones? Then What?
Your Child...see nothing can make you any less mom or dad to that child and at the end of the day who you are when you're alone with that child is what they often tend to remember they tend to hold on to it. See you can become a victim of baby mama/daddy syndrome if you feed all of you energy in to the anger or hatred or any lost emotions you maybe still harboring for your ex partner. Or you can simply be Mother/Father and love the new life you brought into the world and focus on that. See I look at it as relationships are like butterfly's  your lover can be your food your going to always need food to grow stay strong and live or your lover could have simply been your cocoon there to help you grow and get your wings and butterfly's never morn the lost of there cocoons it was just a phase in the journey. So maybe your lover was just a phase in your journey now you have your wings (your child) don't let anyone clip your wings 

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